


Rise! The Tanaka Empire Marches On!

by Gozufucker



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: 8 dimensional multicorner tavern, Comedy, Fantasy, Gen, Possible Romance, i'm shit at tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 00:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9265937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozufucker/pseuds/Gozufucker
Summary: Tales from the dark imagination of Tanaka the Forbidden! How will our (anti)hero survive these challenges?





	

The night was as dark as the mind of Poe, rain beating down upon the dirt path tread upon by many adventurers and warlords who wished to make their wishes manifest. This traveler was different, however. A certain kind of aura radiated from the cloaked figure, an aura that sent a shiver down the spine of any that he would pass. Many had even died down the trail, corpses covering the land as this pure figure of evil made his mark on the world! That was a good line, he should remember that for later usage... Keheh.

But, even a man of his caliber, the caliber even gods feared, would need some rest! This rest would not be gained within the wilds, however. The best choice was a tavern that reminded him of home, almost. A humble beginning to something great, yes... This tavern would provide that and much more. He stopped in front of the door, staring up at the sign with a furrowed gaze. "Hanamura Family Tavern." The sign was decorated with a swine that held the sign up with pride and a sense of degeneracy. This would be an interesting place to visit, if nothing else.

With a brisk push and a step the dark lord made his way inside. The tavern seemed almost... Eight dimensional in structure, for everyone had found their way to one corner. How many were there? He stopped count at the fifth corner and decided to not question it, even when the tavern had looked like a normal square from the outside! This had to be the work of some powerful magic from Shaytan or other such dark forces... Dark forces he could easily wrestle with, of course, but forces he was too tired to confront as of now. And besides, corners were rather pleasing in their aesthetic.

He ignored the dimensions of the tavern and made his way to a table, grabbing himself a seat on the table near the very middle of the room. He could feel a thousand glares upon his back. Were they judging him from actually sitting away from the corner? Possibly. Or, they were just trying to glare each other down and he had managed to put himself right into the middle of this battlefield. He ignored the nagging feeling in the back of his seat and tapped the desk thrice, each tap a little powerful than the rest. On the third tap, almost as if with magic, the slightly pudgy and piggish owner of the tavern arrived with a "charming" smile plastered upon his face. A red apron covering the white attire... This man stunk of dishonesty masked with bad lies. Another good line, he needs to start writing these down.

"Hello, hello!" A friendly voice rung out from the tavern keeper, sliding forwards a menu with many different meals listed upon it. Slime Souffle, Trogg Steak, Phoenix feathers ground into a tasty spice laid down upon the three eggs laid down by Ilmatar, the goddess of wind... Each fallen from her lap. Each meal sounded more and more tantalizing to the tongue, but what struck the overlord as odd was the fact that there were no prices listed. He gave one cold glance towards the pig of a tavernkeeper. The coward trembled for a moment, only to soon relapse back into that sleazy smile that could drive even the most trusting to a sense of suspicion. "Ah, you must be wondering about the prices... You see, you see, here at the Hanamura family tavern we usually do our payments..." He pinches his fingertips together and smiles even sweeter, face positively dripping in sugar. "In natur-"

Before he could finish oinking out whatever fiendish thing he was going to say, a hand latched upon his ear, casually spinning him 'round in the air and flinging him straight into the kitchen. The woman, similarly piggish but gentler in look and supposedly nature folded her arms and huffed. "Mah stars. Apologies for my boy, he's a little bit wild." 

This woman seemed much more... Natural, to deal with. The overlord let out a faint sigh and shook his head. "'Tis nothing short of fine, please. I've dealt with worse fiends during my travels across the many layers of Hel and the branches of Yggdrasil. All I wish for is a night's rest. And, information on the happenings of this world. I am woefully unprepared for travels upon this dimension." As embarrassing as it was, he had been far too busy with his own journals and research to immerse himself in the mortal world, even if it was his plain of existence. Mayhaps another time.

The supposed owner of the tavern spoke up with her gentle voice. "A night here can be arranged easily, take it as a... Repayment, for the way my son's acted towards you. As for news, it's the same old. Crops are fine, the slime population is declining, a local princess has been taken prisoner by a dragon..."

The whole tavern went quiet at the mention of the princess, some even weeping quietly. The dark lord raised his brow and looked about with a confusion matching that of Sleipnir waking from it's sleep. A princess? He had taken this realm for a godless one, without kings or rules to keep the fabric of reality bound. The best environment for monsters and their synthesis, along with their breeding. His surprise caused the tavern keeper to speak up once more, sounding a little more sad. "Mah stars... She's a real beauty, the ruler of this land. Yet she got captured by a horrible monster, a dark dragon with scales long and dark as the night... Just horrible, I tell you! The whole land's in panic!"

"Land in panic, you say...?" The dark lord spoke, and let out an amused snort. Then, a snicker. Soon, he burst out into a loud laughter, raising to stand on the chair he was sat upon, slamming his boot down onto the table in a manner that caused the thud to ring through the whole tavern, noise bouncing off into every corner, each patron looking up at the sight. "Fear not! Even as the lord of darkness, as the marquis of malice, as the duke of devilish deeds, the count of carcasses, the patron of pestilence, the verb that verbs the other noun!" He spreads his hands wide open and then claps them together, causing a light to fall down upon the floor, imprinting a blue ring of runes upon it. "Even I cannot ignore such a malice upon this land... I shall find this princess!" He clutches his fist and grins. "And return to her vacant throne! For I am Tanaka the Forbidden One!"

Noises of wonder echoed from the crowd. The Forbidden One?! The mighty sorceror, arcane amazement, from the far off realms of Mjölnir?! He was here to save the land from it's horrid interregnum of... Something starting with i. This was still a work in progress, give them some time. 

"I WILL JOIN YOU!" A hulking barbarian of great size rose up, grinning as he left one of the many tavern corners. Lightning rode down his brows and across the muscles made of figurative steel. "I AM NIDAI NEKOMARU! THE LIGHTNING FROM THE SOUTHERN MOUNTAINS!" The barbarian let out an earthshattering laugh that made some glasses break from the sheer volume of it all.

"... I will, too. For the princess." From the darkest corner rose a mechanist, clad in clothes that could only be described as second grade trash. He made his way out like a rat and stood with the barbarian, rubbing his hands together, grinning like a pathetic little lizard with his sharp teeth. "I am Souda Kazuichi... The mechanist from the northern kingdoms."

"Perfect! With your help (and... the mechanists, barely), we'll get the princess back upon her throne and save this land!" Tanaka laughed and struck a pose. He could hear the cheers ring across the tavern for HIM, and him only. For he was the protagonist of this story...

"Tanaka! Tanaka! Tanaka! Tanaka! TANAKA! ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

A sudden fling of a marker against his cheek caused Tanaka to snap back into reality, eyes fluttering as he almost fell off of his chair. He looked around the classroom, with all of his fellow super high school level's staring him down in curiosity. Mitarai bit down into his bucket of chicken with a raised brow, Tsumiki was already over to check his cheek for any bruises... And Yukizome stared at him, not really angry, but more disappointed at his inability to answer. And just when his story was starting to get good. He huffed and lifted his scarf to cover his mouth.

"Could you repeat the question."


End file.
